Posted by Vanessa McLellan Posted on 2/10/2014 with No comments
A little background, maybe. I have three children, a 9 yr old, 5 yr old and a 3 yr old.
My 9 yr old is actually not mine, but my stepdaughter, who loves basketball, soccer and plays the piano. My 5 yr old loves school, cars and Tae Kwon Do. My 3 yr old is beautiful, energetic and has Autism Spectrum Disorder.
We have learned a lot this year about patience dealing with Autism. But, every so often, the kids (all three) have had a spank on the bum or a pop on the mouth, sent to the corner, or to their rooms.
As long as I have been married, we have always had some sort of dispute with "the mom". Meaning, we are never doing what she feels is right by her rules and regulations.
Over 6 years, we have gone to court for fighting more time (more than the 30% deemed) with said 9 yr old. Muscled through psychological evaluations fighting allegations of past abuse and poor parenting. We eventually were granted more time, though little it was, and abuse allegations were never substantiated.
We have always been nurturing of the family the 9 yr old lives with (mom, stepdad and new brother). Never mock, talk rudely about, and remind 9 yr old to call to chat to them during our parenting time.
Now, once again, we find ourselves having to fight to prove we are innocent. As I mentioned before, our kids are disciplined with spanks. But never to the fear of abuse. Until now.
9 yr often gets leeway at "the mom" house. Gets to pick what is for dinner, doesn't do chores and gets sassy often. At our house, we are fair, you eat what is put in front of you and you speak with respect to everyone. One weekend with us, 9 yr old was sassy while being chatted to about name calling and got a pop in the mouth after back chatting. No marks left, but startled and surprised the 9 yr old. She instantly stated that "mom said I could call the authorities if you ever laid a hand on me."
A day later... a nasty threat by "the mom", a police interview done and child services home interview on its way, I wonder what is child abuse? The occasional spank on the bum or pop to the mouth, or "letting the children do things their own way without any control". Who is causing more harm to this child/ren? What is this child learning about what they can and cannot get away with? What kind of person is this child going to grow in to?
Did we really abuse our 9 yr old?
Submitted by Sad Momma (USA)
Labels: child discipline