Posted by Vanessa McLellan Posted on 1/07/2014 with No comments
Communication is the most important component of any relationship. More so with kids. We pass on our values to our kids through Communication only.
Communication may be 'verbal' or 'non verbal'. Some times 'non verbal' communication has a more powerful impact than 'verbal' communication. 'Non-verbal' communication includes all kinds of emotional expressions, actions, body language, meaningless words or even being silent.
More than 300 years ago, Isac Newton laid down his third law of motion: "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction."
This law best applies on communication. If we communicate something positive, it brings back something positive to us. Similarly, if we communicate something negative, it brings back something negative to us.
Kids can sense the underlying emotion and message of any communication, and they follow the Newton's third law religiously. They react with the same emotions. So they can't be blamed for any negative reaction.
You must have noticed that sometime kids easily agree to what we say but some other times they don't. Why does that happen?
In the first case, we unconsciously use some effective communication techinques, and in the second case we do just the opposite.
We can choose to be in harmony with the kids by learning Effective communication with children. Interested? Here are some effective practical tips:
Be a good listener
Parents listening to their kids is the first and most important part of parent and child communication.
Children have lots of things to talk about. All they want is an interesting listener, so that they can pour out all they have in their little hearts. This satisfies their sense of importance as well and certainly improves the parent child relationship. Talking is fun for children and parents need to listen to them. Yes, it needs lots of parental involvement.
If child doesn’t get enough opportunity to speak out his emotions and little experiences with his parents, the distance between parents and children keeps on increasing … and then parents complain of misbehavior.
Do parents listen to their children?
Listening is the most basic communication skills, yet most parents never do it. They are busy preaching their kids and telling them to do this or that. This brings complete communication breakdown between parents and kids.
Here are some tips for parents on how to be a good listener, and improve their listening skill and communication with children.
Words of encouragement and praises
If your child doesn’t listen to you, praise him for anything you find good about him and he’ll listen attentively. Few words of appreciation and praise get results where criticism and ridicule fail. If you praise him for the good things he does, he is more likely to do good things again.
You can maximize the power of praise by learning how to praise and encourage a child. But remember! everything has a limit. Over praising a child might do more harm than good. A revolutionary study teaches praise the child for his efforts not for his intelligence or talents.
You think you are improving kids by finding their faults and criticizing them. But do they really improve by our doing this? No one likes to be criticized … including kids. Rather criticism hurts ego and arouses resentment. Nothing kills enthusiasm as criticism does.
If you still find need to find faults in your child, tweak your words a little and convert your criticism into constructive criticism. Criticizing in a constructive manner improves child behavior. There are lots of ways to do that. Want to explore? Here’s how to criticize your child in a constructive manner.
Do not argue with your children
'If you win an argument, you lose a friend'. When we argue with someone, we directly attack his ego, and self-esteem and sense of pride. No one likes it … including kids. Every argument involves sharp criticism, which triggers hatred and resentment. Even if you think you have won the argument, you actually lose, because you have lost all prospects to have a good relation with that person ever in future. Every argument increases the distance between two persons.
When we argue with our kids, we complain, condemn, ridicule, scold, shout, humiliate and insult them. This makes the argument much more ugly and filthy. Does this correct the child’s behavior which triggered the argument? No way! The child will be more adamant than ever before. Result … things get messed up more than before. So, why argue with him?
But what if the child starts an argument and you have to face it? Here’s how to argue with your kids and win the argument.