Why are consequences ineffective most of the times?
Well, there could be many reasons.
But the most common reason is parents lose their temper while giving consequences and there is power struggle between the child and parent.
We can make consequences most effective only when we are able to keep our emotions out of giving consequences.
And the solution is simple …. Plan the consequences in advance.
Here are the ways how you can do that:
- List of Consequences
- Cardboard Consequence Wheel
- Consequence Wheel Software
List of consequences
The simplest way to do that is to make a list of your child’s common misbehaviors and write suitable consequences in front of them as shown below:
|Coming home late||Time out|
|No home work||No Tv|
Paste the list at a prominent place in home so that you and the child can look at it easily and frequently. When the child misbehaves, take him to the list and find out what consequence is applicable. That way you can give consequence without emotions getting into the way.
Cardboard Consequence Wheel
To make it more interesting, you can make a consequence wheel.
- Take a round shaped cardboard.
- Paste a colored paper on it.
- Make a hole in the center of it.
- Write your consequences along it inner border.
- Fix it on the wall with a nail at its center.
- Put a red mark on the wall a little outside the consequence wheel.
The consequence wheel is ready.
Ask your child to rotate it …
Wait until it stops …
Hold your breath and find out which consequence stops near the red mark.
Yes... it has stopped ... and this is the consequence.
So the suspense continues until the wheel completely stops …. It's like a casino game.
Cool ... isn't it?
Consequence wheel software
Card board is fun, but it is too basic. I mean you can’t add or delete consequence without making a new wheel.
Recently I came across a pretty Consequence Wheel software which does this job in a much more interesting and advanced way. It is so flexible, you can add or delete consequences any time and it works as well. This is more fun. Just load it on your computer and it’s ready to work.
So when your child misbehaves next time, let him press a button on this software. A virtual wheel start moving on the screen with an interesting sound effect and when the wheel stops, it pops out a consequence.
When I installed it on my computer and showed it to my son, he was so excited about it. He played it many times and then we were busy making a list of his common misbehavior and consequences.
I always invite my son to participate whenever I am working or updating the list of consequences for him. He feels like being a part of the Government making a law. I give him many choices and he picks up some of them.
When our list was ready, I typed it on the software. It was customized for our family now. In fact we went a step further. We decided that the consequences were not applicable on my son alone; they were applicable on the whole family. So anyone leaves the lights switched on for no reason, he has to press the button and discover his/her consequences.
Believe me, it's fun.
My son enjoys it a lot.
Every time it looks like a casino game…full of excitement and suspense.
And everybody on the family is waiting for someone else to make a mistake so that they can watch the casino game.
And it makes the consequences more effective while having fun with them.